please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
false alarm. still invincible.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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