how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
