Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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