Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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