i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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