dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
