Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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