After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
