is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
