I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
