Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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