Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
birth control should be required to get into college
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize