Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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