I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize