I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
