What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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