I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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