This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize