can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
