..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
pray to the hookup gods
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
