I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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