Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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