I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
