Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
