HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
