we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
foreskin is a definite game changer
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
