apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
