then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
