We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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