i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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