idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
