I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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