you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
