I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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