How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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