so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
