that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
