I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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