why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
