I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
