Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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