I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I could fuck to npr.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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