I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
