Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
