Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
