sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
