quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
