Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
