He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize