he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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