im having a threesome with these popsicles
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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