dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
