Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize