I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize