I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
