How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
