My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
