He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
