I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
