I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
