I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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