sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
