you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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