Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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