so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
