I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
