Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
