Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
