it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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