I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
