I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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