Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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