The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
